in case anyone checks this thing: I've booked it to wordpress.

emilyjoythomas.wordpress.com


peace.

Scott Feschuk makes me giddy. Defenseless verb tense...hahaha

Our house is RIGHT in the middle of the one hundred thousand that lost power last night (I ran home past all the dark houses and it was REALLY cool) but, as per usual, Alyssa and I have dodged the bullet of chance! We are part of a tiny pocket of unaffected houses. Party at our house today. Give us your bored and your cold...we have the power! But how will we use it?

On an unrelated note, I left the house twice this week. Though initially exciting, I was not happy about it. Leaving the house is risky and it leaves you vulnerable to all kinds of sensual assaults. Safe in my house, I don't have to deal with crap music or lazy decor.

Furthermore, I don't have to be tempted to pick up a NOW magazine at every corner.

I flipped through the current issue for a few minutes and I wanted to throw it across the room.  I am sick to death of liberal/fringe/"activist" media and their sarcastic comments. The only things NOW or Eye are good for are preachin' to the choir and antagonizing the opposition. There is zero engagement. I expect this sort of thing from a small publication making noise to get heard, but NOW is totally established. Their readership is huge! 

What a waste of recycled paper.

I wish i had a subscription to The Hill Times. All I can get is this teaser and it's making me CRAZY! (not enough to shell out, though) 
What was said?! What was done?! Was Ignatieff serious or was he trying to make Harper mad? Was he...teasing him?

Can't say I blame Harper for not acknowledging. If he moved into Ignatieff's house he would have to change the way he ran the country. He would have to change himself, get vulnerable and indebted to the leader of the opposition. Damn, Ignatieff, way to take the high road and shake things up. I love you.

I also love the way this highlights how rich Ignatieff is inside his soul. This is the kind of thing people do when they are old money. "You're the prime minister and you're kind of down and out so...take one of my houses. I don't need it right now."

MI knows how to be completely rich and completely generous at the same time. He's so smart and sneaky. It's kind of Christ-like.

When I was little, I read an Archie comic where Betty, Veronica and Archie are climbing a mountain and there is an avalanche. Archie gets buried and the girls think he's dead. They cry and cry. I can't remember how this turned comical, though I trust it did somehow (death avalanche mix-up haha). I cut out the page, with Betty and Veronica in tears, because it freaked me out so much. It wasn't appropriate. It went against the whole nature of the Archie comic (where no one dies or ages, but many are poor and picked on) and felt very unreal. I hated it, to be honest.

Recently Alyssa stuck an Archie comic in the bathroom. The whole issue is about the gang at the carnival, usual highjinks; Jughead is packing it in, Arch is trying to get Veronica into the tunnel of love but loses out to Reggie, Betty is forgiving when treated poorly and everything is going the way you expect when BAM! Jesus is on the scene. Well, not Jesus himself, but his message.

This particular Archie comic is made by a man name Al Hartley, an artist who became a born again when he was "sterile, numb and filled with fear" at drawing nudie comics for Marvel in the sixties. He got the Archie characters licensed to him by the religious Archie president and launched a whole Christian comic book series. And they are totally weird.

Is Jesus in Riverdale? Is there any religion whatsoever there? Oddly enough, I think it more likely there is a Jew, a Muslim, a Hindu, Buddhist or Sikh than even a nominal Protestant in Riverdale (There are, however, absolutely no Catholics, I think we can agree). The Jew would be objectified, yes. But the mere mention of Jesus Christ is spooky. In the live action version in my head, Betty says "Jesus" and everything shuts down, freezes forever on that first religious frame.

What the hell is going on here? What, exactly, did Al Hartley unearth when he brought the gospel into Riverdale? I hate it, to be honest. Jesus talk in an Archie comic is as disturbing as the all American teenager being buried in an avalanche.  

I was reading some optimistic economic forecasts (off warren kinsella's last post highlighting optimistic economic forecasts) and I swear, if the economy is in an upswing by mid-2009 my faith is shot. Or rather, my faith is unflinching.

What I mean is, I have seen some of the most terrifying newspaper, business section and magazine covers in the past few months. They're all like, black with swear words (because now that the world is ending, do whatever you want kind of thing) and I kept on having these surreal moments, telling myself "when you're destitute and everything sucks you're going to remember this day and the newspaper cover you noted a little too casually when you went to buy milk in the morning from the corner store. You didn't even buy a copy!" 

Does nobody understand that my generation is so pessimistic, that when we read gloomy economic forecasts we assume no one knows what they're talking about so we end up, by comparison, really optimistic? But this time everyone was like, "no, seriously guys this time it's real. We're in the shit" and  everyone I know was like, "maybe this time everything really is going to hit the fan" and we let our guard down and got worried and went with the crowd, freaking at Harper and pretending to put money into an emergency savings account? (Of course, we need that money now! haha)

If the economy is in an upswing by mid-2009, no one of my generation will freak out about anything, ever. Because, 2009? What were we getting so upset about? 

Thank you (I'm talking to, I don't know the media I guess. Or the official opposition) for making us into the apathetic mass you, evidently, are dying for us to be. Ah, it's so nice to be us. Nothing bad ever happens. Things are looking up. 

I think I'm going to become a Conservative. Conservatives are nice and positive. And steady, like the economy.

I don't even know what's going on anymore. After a week without internet, I return online obsessed with my income. So I'm either checking charity village and craigslist  incessantly or I'm online-paralyzed, too cash guilty to indulge myself with poli-blogs...
The last thing I remember is leadership hysteria and a Toronto Star cover quoting Ignatieff threatening the PM to FIX IT!!! It was thrilling. But despite my disconnect, it feels like things are calming down and I'm so happy to have my cds and a kitchen again that all I want to do is hang around making soup and bread (with the bread maker I took from my parents' house) and watching the whole last season of LOST (two and a half days...I had a cramp in my arm by the last episode. Thank you 2Q video for the great rates).

But I want to come back. The thing is, I'm different than I was two weeks ago. I look at politics differently.
Now, the economic meltdown is affecting me! I seriously never imagined. I believed that I was immune because no global economic trend has ever had any bearing on my life. But my boss says to me "I don't think you'll get any work because of the economy..." and totally blew my mind. Tuition, minimum wage, health care...these things affected me but didn't affect me because they didn't interfere with my relationship with goat's cheese and wine (for example). And now these are sort of the only things missing from my life. Because I can't afford them. Because of the economy. 

So I'm going to be looking at politics and poli-blogs through a different lens. I'm sort of like, a citizen now or something. I'm a citizen who is worried about the economy. I'm a concerned citizen with an agenda and a few tangible yardsticks. Goat's cheese and wine for example. 

Now I'm distracted. It was my intention to return at some point and say something to the merits of MI. But all this chaos. All this wonderful and exciting and terrifying chaos...

What terrifies me most is imagining what Harper is thinking. He must be freaking out, totally. The idea of that man feeling something chills me a bit, but the idea that he might be feeling rage...that is a nightmare!

Everyone is losing their minds and I'm not sure who to blame. I want to make it clear that I would rather not blame Harper. For the liberal leaning, this is too easy and it bores me. I've spent considerable time trying to glean something noble from his character. It can't be easy leading a minority government.  Really, he is being very difficult. But I don't think he is "out of touch" with the average Canadian or a total jerk. I believe
that he believes
that he has no other option. 

He is...pressing on because he practically has a phobia. A cooperation phobia, like the idea that he might work with the opposition flies right over his head. Since the election he has been hyper aware that cooperation is looming. He probably has cooperation nightmares. So when everyone else rejected the conservative economic package and someone breathed the word "cooperation" Harper freaked and blurted out "we're doing it anyway!"
And subsequently conceded a few things outta panic and now he's screwed. He swung from one frantic end to another. A man usually so calm and self assured...

I still maintain that Harper could be a good leader. He just needs to really ATTACK this issue. And by issue I mean his issue with cooperation. And by "attack" I mean give it some gentle consideration. 

My hopes and dreams of the past two years have finally come true. I'm not sure I truly believed there would be another chance to watch Ignatieff come through. Not so soon, at least. And Warren Kinsella is supporting him. I can't believe my luck. Last time Kinsella was involved I didn't care about politics. I've never really witnessed him in action and now he's backing my favorite living political personality. The next few months will be a dream! blogsblogsblogsblogs.
What a glorious time to be essentially unemployed. This is all getting out of hand. I am giddy.

And I have been to seven delis in three days.
And I am going to my second Reel Asian Screening for free to tonight.
And I have a metro pass (which is a JOY, let me tell you).
And I just ate half a bowl of chocolate frosting with, so far, zero consequences (aside from the consequence of a sudden burst of optimism).

Later rant - the genuine and superficial merits of MI.
Thanks be to God.

All last year, save a few exceptions, I had to google Mexico news to find out what was going on over there. But the past few days suggest this previously, oddly contained war is slowly being enveloped by mainstream media. I've heard drug war details on the CBC, in the Toronto Star, all over the internet and even from my relatives. This bizarre phenomenon,  Mexico's precarious position as NAFTA partner, tourist destination and war zone.

A plane went down in Mexico City two days ago with Interior Minister and former head drug prosecutor on board. Civilians cry Narco plot, but the official stance is still accident. Eight more bodies were found in Northern border town with one decapitated, hanging from a bridge to terrify locals. The national drug war death toll rivals Afghanistan and Tijuana exceeds Baghdad. The drug cartels' increasingly brazen violent acts show their attempt to assert power and control while quelling any opposition.

But we all know this just leads to bloody war. Police and local government officials are targeted, threatened or murdered but ultimately replaced by those either more staunch and stubborn to wipe out the cartels, or corrupt individuals tied to the criminals. No one in between would take on such a god forsaken position. So the drugs are either going to meet with greater violence and opposition or a brief time in complete control before a desperate civilian uprising.

Whatever happens, I feel like Mexico is headed into this terrible situation and when total civil war breaks out, no one over here will have seen it coming because we are too distracted by billboards and TV commercials suggesting we take a break there sometime this winter. 

I got caught up in the mania last night, severely wishing I was more attached to the event. Shots of crazed crowds around the US exuding pure political and historical joy had me re assessing my national identity again. I love Canada. Canada is weird and unsure, lovable in the same way as the smart but quiet kid from high school who appears on the local scene ten years after graduation. And now he's really cute and makes horror films.
But I kept thinking of the scene two weeks ago when i was up alone at 1 am during the acceptance speeches as most of the nation fell softly asleep, unworried and uninspired. I'm so jealous of Americans (like the smart but quiet kid from high school). They're totally allowed to be patriotic. They're even allowed to get their flag tattooed on their body (I don't want a flag tattoo but I'd like the option of it meaning more than I like to go camping at Algonquin). If you have an American flag tattoo it probably means you almost died, and don't get you started on patriotism because you'll either cry or split someone's lip.
The United States was almost lost and now it's found. Typical. Leave it to them to get everyone worked up again. They keep pushing and pushing and pushing international patience to the brink and then do something really great. I understand this caution, that Obama is a mere man and not the saviour of the world. But I think that whatever he is and however mortal, he's a huge symbol that America is still not a real country. It gets away with everything because it's a mythical figment of of our imaginations that embodies everything that's ever happened from the creation of the world. I mean, wtf? A month ago we thought the country was doomed but today, redemption sweeps across the land. It's so sudden. This can't be reality. That's why I love America, wish I could live in America, wish I was America.
I'm one of the most critical people I know, but last night I felt all criticism seep out of my body. All I wanted to do was feel positive and hopeful and embrace this mythical thing. Because I recently noted that Canada is moderate. The whole country recently noted it (democratically). And I get choked up about it, and a rush of love and affection. But the idea that I would paint my face and dance in the street over anything that happens in this country in my life time is ridiculous. The hope and optimism I feel within Canadian Politics is systematic, intellectual, controlled and sarcastic.

Somehow at some point America became a projection of the whole world's hopes and fears. Last night it came to light that I didn't really understand the US political process. There was a vague feeling in the room that I should know. And it's true. There is a sense that everyone in the world should know what's going on in the USA. Our fates are attached to what happens there. The American myth affects me, even though I am not American. We perpetuate this bizarre global domination by loving them and hating them, celebrating in our streets their successes and failures and following their election more closely on TV then our own (on CNN and CBC, incidentally). It is not the best country in the world, but it's definitely the most interesting and the most important because it exists outside of reality. If America ceases, the world must confront the impending end of the world. As long as it redeems itself (impossibly and suddenly), the impossible is still possible.
If Obama saves nothing else, he saved this outrageous narrative.