state of confusion

outta here.

2009-02-06T18:06:29Z

in case anyone checks this thing: I've booked it to wordpress.

emilyjoythomas.wordpress.com

peace.

Pocket of Power

2009-01-16T16:20:57Z

Scott Feschuk makes me giddy. Defenseless verb tense...hahaha

Our house is RIGHT in the middle of the one hundred thousand that lost power last night (I ran home past all the dark houses and it was REALLY cool) but, as per usual, Alyssa and I have dodged the bullet of chance! We are part of a tiny pocket of unaffected houses. Party at our house today. Give us your bored and your cold...we have the power! But how will we use it?

On an unrelated note, I left the house twice this week. Though initially exciting, I was not happy about it. Leaving the house is risky and it leaves you vulnerable to all kinds of sensual assaults. Safe in my house, I don't have to deal with crap music or lazy decor.

Furthermore, I don't have to be tempted to pick up a NOW magazine at every corner.

I flipped through the current issue for a few minutes and I wanted to throw it across the room. I am sick to death of liberal/fringe/"activist" media and their sarcastic comments. The only things NOW or Eye are good for are preachin' to the choir and antagonizing the opposition. There is zero engagement. I expect this sort of thing from a small publication making noise to get heard, but NOW is totally established. Their readership is huge!

What a waste of recycled paper.

WWMD?

2009-01-12T16:50:06Z

I wish i had a subscription to The Hill Times. All I can get is this teaser and it's making me CRAZY! (not enough to shell out, though)
What was said?! What was done?! Was Ignatieff serious or was he trying to make Harper mad? Was he...teasing him?

Can't say I blame Harper for not acknowledging. If he moved into Ignatieff's house he would have to change the way he ran the country. He would have to change himself, get vulnerable and indebted to the leader of the opposition. Damn, Ignatieff, way to take the high road and shake things up. I love you.

I also love the way this highlights how rich Ignatieff is inside his soul. This is the kind of thing people do when they are old money. "You're the prime minister and you're kind of down and out so...take one of my houses. I don't need it right now."

MI knows how to be completely rich and completely generous at the same time. He's so smart and sneaky. It's kind of Christ-like.

Stay outta Riverdale

2009-01-11T18:33:57Z

When I was little, I read an Archie comic where Betty, Veronica and Archie are climbing a mountain and there is an avalanche. Archie gets buried and the girls think he's dead. They cry and cry. I can't remember how this turned comical, though I trust it did somehow (death avalanche mix-up haha). I cut out the page, with Betty and Veronica in tears, because it freaked me out so much. It wasn't appropriate. It went against the whole nature of the Archie comic (where no one dies or ages, but many are poor and picked on) and felt very unreal. I hated it, to be honest.

Recently Alyssa stuck an Archie comic in the bathroom. The whole issue is about the gang at the carnival, usual highjinks; Jughead is packing it in, Arch is trying to get Veronica into the tunnel of love but loses out to Reggie, Betty is forgiving when treated poorly and everything is going the way you expect when BAM! Jesus is on the scene. Well, not Jesus himself, but his message.

This particular Archie comic is made by a man name Al Hartley, an artist who became a born again when he was "sterile, numb and filled with fear" at drawing nudie comics for Marvel in the sixties. He got the Archie characters licensed to him by the religious Archie president and launched a whole Christian comic book series. And they are totally weird.

Is Jesus in Riverdale? Is there any religion whatsoever there? Oddly enough, I think it more likely there is a Jew, a Muslim, a Hindu, Buddhist or Sikh than even a nominal Protestant in Riverdale (There are, however, absolutely no Catholics, I think we can agree). The Jew would be objectified, yes. But the mere mention of Jesus Christ is spooky. In the live action version in my head, Betty says "Jesus" and everything shuts down, freezes forever on that first religious frame.

What the hell is going on here? What, exactly, did Al Hartley unearth when he brought the gospel into Riverdale? I hate it, to be honest. Jesus talk in an Archie comic is as disturbing as the all American teenager being buried in an avalanche.

I gotta job but it don't pay

2009-01-05T19:03:18Z

I was reading some optimistic economic forecasts (off warren kinsella's last post highlighting optimistic economic forecasts) and I swear, if the economy is in an upswing by mid-2009 my faith is shot. Or rather, my faith is unflinching.

What I mean is, I have seen some of the most terrifying newspaper, business section and magazine covers in the past few months. They're all like, black with swear words (because now that the world is ending, do whatever you want kind of thing) and I kept on having these surreal moments, telling myself "when you're destitute and everything sucks you're going to remember this day and the newspaper cover you noted a little too casually when you went to buy milk in the morning from the corner store. You didn't even buy a copy!"

Does nobody understand that my generation is so pessimistic, that when we read gloomy economic forecasts we assume no one knows what they're talking about so we end up, by comparison, really optimistic? But this time everyone was like, "no, seriously guys this time it's real. We're in the shit" and everyone I know was like, "maybe this time everything really is going to hit the fan" and we let our guard down and got worried and went with the crowd, freaking at Harper and pretending to put money into an emergency savings account? (Of course, we need that money now! haha)

If the economy is in an upswing by mid-2009, no one of my generation will freak out about anything, ever. Because, 2009? What were we getting so upset about?

Thank you (I'm talking to, I don't know the media I guess. Or the official opposition) for making us into the apathetic mass you, evidently, are dying for us to be. Ah, it's so nice to be us. Nothing bad ever happens. Things are looking up.

I think I'm going to become a Conservative. Conservatives are nice and positive. And steady, like the economy.

make!

2008-12-21T20:13:17Z

I don't even know what's going on anymore. After a week without internet, I return online obsessed with my income. So I'm either checking charity village and craigslist incessantly or I'm online-paralyzed, too cash guilty to indulge myself with poli-blogs...
The last thing I remember is leadership hysteria and a Toronto Star cover quoting Ignatieff threatening the PM to FIX IT!!! It was thrilling. But despite my disconnect, it feels like things are calming down and I'm so happy to have my cds and a kitchen again that all I want to do is hang around making soup and bread (with the bread maker I took from my parents' house) and watching the whole last season of LOST (two and a half days...I had a cramp in my arm by the last episode. Thank you 2Q video for the great rates).

But I want to come back. The thing is, I'm different than I was two weeks ago. I look at politics differently.
Now, the economic meltdown is affecting me! I seriously never imagined. I believed that I was immune because no global economic trend has ever had any bearing on my life. But my boss says to me "I don't think you'll get any work because of the economy..." and totally blew my mind. Tuition, minimum wage, health care...these things affected me but didn't affect me because they didn't interfere with my relationship with goat's cheese and wine (for example). And now these are sort of the only things missing from my life. Because I can't afford them. Because of the economy.

So I'm going to be looking at politics and poli-blogs through a different lens. I'm sort of like, a citizen now or something. I'm a citizen who is worried about the economy. I'm a concerned citizen with an agenda and a few tangible yardsticks. Goat's cheese and wine for example.

co-op-ed

2008-12-01T17:41:29Z

Now I'm distracted. It was my intention to return at some point and say something to the merits of MI. But all this chaos. All this wonderful and exciting and terrifying chaos...

What terrifies me most is imagining what Harper is thinking. He must be freaking out, totally. The idea of that man feeling something chills me a bit, but the idea that he might be feeling rage...that is a nightmare!

Everyone is losing their minds and I'm not sure who to blame. I want to make it clear that I would rather not blame Harper. For the liberal leaning, this is too easy and it bores me. I've spent considerable time trying to glean something noble from his character. It can't be easy leading a minority government. Really, he is being very difficult. But I don't think he is "out of touch" with the average Canadian or a total jerk. I believe
that he believes
that he has no other option.

He is...pressing on because he practically has a phobia. A cooperation phobia, like the idea that he might work with the opposition flies right over his head. Since the election he has been hyper aware that cooperation is looming. He probably has cooperation nightmares. So when everyone else rejected the conservative economic package and someone breathed the word "cooperation" Harper freaked and blurted out "we're doing it anyway!"
And subsequently conceded a few things outta panic and now he's screwed. He swung from one frantic end to another. A man usually so calm and self assured...

I still maintain that Harper could be a good leader. He just needs to really ATTACK this issue. And by issue I mean his issue with cooperation. And by "attack" I mean give it some gentle consideration.

IGGY

2008-11-14T00:23:21Z

My hopes and dreams of the past two years have finally come true. I'm not sure I truly believed there would be another chance to watch Ignatieff come through. Not so soon, at least. And Warren Kinsella is supporting him. I can't believe my luck. Last time Kinsella was involved I didn't care about politics. I've never really witnessed him in action and now he's backing my favorite living political personality. The next few months will be a dream! blogsblogsblogsblogs.
What a glorious time to be essentially unemployed. This is all getting out of hand. I am giddy.

And I have been to seven delis in three days.
And I am going to my second Reel Asian Screening for free to tonight.
And I have a metro pass (which is a JOY, let me tell you).
And I just ate half a bowl of chocolate frosting with, so far, zero consequences (aside from the consequence of a sudden burst of optimism).

Later rant - the genuine and superficial merits of MI.
Thanks be to God.

Mexico

2008-11-07T18:14:27Z

All last year, save a few exceptions, I had to google Mexico news to find out what was going on over there. But the past few days suggest this previously, oddly contained war is slowly being enveloped by mainstream media. I've heard drug war details on the CBC, in the Toronto Star, all over the internet and even from my relatives. This bizarre phenomenon, Mexico's precarious position as NAFTA partner, tourist destination and war zone.

A plane went down in Mexico City two days ago with Interior Minister and former head drug prosecutor on board. Civilians cry Narco plot, but the official stance is still accident. Eight more bodies were found in Northern border town with one decapitated, hanging from a bridge to terrify locals. The national drug war death toll rivals Afghanistan and Tijuana exceeds Baghdad. The drug cartels' increasingly brazen violent acts show their attempt to assert power and control while quelling any opposition.

But we all know this just leads to bloody war. Police and local government officials are targeted, threatened or murdered but ultimately replaced by those either more staunch and stubborn to wipe out the cartels, or corrupt individuals tied to the criminals. No one in between would take on such a god forsaken position. So the drugs are either going to meet with greater violence and opposition or a brief time in complete control before a desperate civilian uprising.

Whatever happens, I feel like Mexico is headed into this terrible situation and when total civil war breaks out, no one over here will have seen it coming because we are too distracted by billboards and TV commercials suggesting we take a break there sometime this winter.

lamerica

2008-11-05T18:49:23Z

I got caught up in the mania last night, severely wishing I was more attached to the event. Shots of crazed crowds around the US exuding pure political and historical joy had me re assessing my national identity again. I love Canada. Canada is weird and unsure, lovable in the same way as the smart but quiet kid from high school who appears on the local scene ten years after graduation. And now he's really cute and makes horror films.
But I kept thinking of the scene two weeks ago when i was up alone at 1 am during the acceptance speeches as most of the nation fell softly asleep, unworried and uninspired. I'm so jealous of Americans (like the smart but quiet kid from high school). They're totally allowed to be patriotic. They're even allowed to get their flag tattooed on their body (I don't want a flag tattoo but I'd like the option of it meaning more than I like to go camping at Algonquin). If you have an American flag tattoo it probably means you almost died, and don't get you started on patriotism because you'll either cry or split someone's lip.
The United States was almost lost and now it's found. Typical. Leave it to them to get everyone worked up again. They keep pushing and pushing and pushing international patience to the brink and then do something really great. I understand this caution, that Obama is a mere man and not the saviour of the world. But I think that whatever he is and however mortal, he's a huge symbol that America is still not a real country. It gets away with everything because it's a mythical figment of of our imaginations that embodies everything that's ever happened from the creation of the world. I mean, wtf? A month ago we thought the country was doomed but today, redemption sweeps across the land. It's so sudden. This can't be reality. That's why I love America, wish I could live in America, wish I was America.
I'm one of the most critical people I know, but last night I felt all criticism seep out of my body. All I wanted to do was feel positive and hopeful and embrace this mythical thing. Because I recently noted that Canada is moderate. The whole country recently noted it (democratically). And I get choked up about it, and a rush of love and affection. But the idea that I would paint my face and dance in the street over anything that happens in this country in my life time is ridiculous. The hope and optimism I feel within Canadian Politics is systematic, intellectual, controlled and sarcastic.

Somehow at some point America became a projection of the whole world's hopes and fears. Last night it came to light that I didn't really understand the US political process. There was a vague feeling in the room that I should know. And it's true. There is a sense that everyone in the world should know what's going on in the USA. Our fates are attached to what happens there. The American myth affects me, even though I am not American. We perpetuate this bizarre global domination by loving them and hating them, celebrating in our streets their successes and failures and following their election more closely on TV then our own (on CNN and CBC, incidentally). It is not the best country in the world, but it's definitely the most interesting and the most important because it exists outside of reality. If America ceases, the world must confront the impending end of the world. As long as it redeems itself (impossibly and suddenly), the impossible is still possible.
If Obama saves nothing else, he saved this outrageous narrative.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FIND OUT

2008-10-16T22:12:26Z

"Do you really want to find out" is the line that ends the last liberal ad i saw before election day!

a series of ads outlines everything stephen harper has done that might be interpreted as terrifying. and the ads themselves, they are terrifying. there is a voice over and it is always very frantic (as one apt observer noted to my delight). he always speaks very quickly and firmly, and almost loudly.
but i have decided that being frantic is definitely not the way to win over a conservative. conservatives like to be calm and reasonable. they like plans - clear plans (beautiful beautiful plans).

on thanksgiving monday i asked my dad why he was voting conservative and he said "because he lowered the gst and is letting me split my income with my wife." and that was all my dad had to say and he was sort of laughing the whole time because he knew it would make me mad. then we got to my home in bramps and my next door neighbors, the raspberrys incidentally, had a conservative sign on their lawn (i almost thought it was on my parents' lawn...i can't believe the raspberrys did that...).

so i really started thinking about why people vote conservative. because my dad is a really good person and he's not greedy and he doesn't like war that much. i also always thought warren raspberry was a good person.

the other night after the election i stayed up late because i wanted to hear harper address the nation. i like a victor's speech. the best comes out in people when they are victorious, even when their politics are bad (don't align with mine?). the thing is, i really liked his speech and i really liked harper while he was giving the speech. i even think, i think his mouth may have quivered when he stated that canada was the best country in the world. and he got a bit passionate at the end there when he said we were independent, strong and compassionate (or something - three very good adjectives). furthermore, i liked the way he ushered his children onto the stage. i think stephen harper might be a really good father. no one can get over that handshake but my friends and i have come at it from every angle and maybe they have this father-son-handshake ritual or maybe ben didn't want to hug his dad in front of the cameras. maybe they discussed it beforehand or better yet, harper just knew and didnt make a big deal out of it. i think he looks pretty comfortable with his kids and vice versa. and also, elizabeth may said he was a good father.

and i liked him during the debates. jack layton was crazy and mean and the sweater joke was only funny the first time. dion was lovely and emotional and oh, i really like him and wish him some sort of peripheral political participation. steven harper was totally cool the whole time and i like the way he laughed at layton's jabs.

and i think that if you're an artist you have to stand up for yourself, but cutting the arts, while very unfortunate, is not insane. it's not even, like, mean.
it's just kind of boring.
and responsible.

and i've seen harper during question period and i think he's witty.

there is nothing utterly hateful about stephen harper. canada is a moderate country. our conservatives are better - more articulate, educated and reasonable - than their conservatives.

and our liberals are less exciting than their liberals (except for Trudeau).

so while i sincerely regret the results, i kind of wish i could encourage harper somehow because maybe he could be a great leader.

i might lash out against artists too if i had the economy to worry about and they wouldn't get off my ass anyways.

and if i were my dad (haha) and was about to settle into retirement, had a kid with a loan, a sore back and a new grandson

i might vote for stephen harper too.

ronnie hawkins?

2008-09-24T16:31:09Z

my life is about very little right now. i mean, i spend all my time doing about four things with about four people (but the four things and the four people are definitely the best - nnnnno complaints).

one of those four things i do is watch tv on dvd. oh YES i love to do this (another thing i do is eat. and when i can combine these two activities it's heaven). there have been three main installments - Jericho, five days, and dead like me. dead like me was terrible, boring and embarrassing.

five days was one of the best things i've ever seen. if you ever have five free hours (we still only rented it for less than 24 hours because it was a new release so we had to totally commit - paul runs a tight ship over there at movie art decor) of spare time and mental soundness, you should see it. watch it all in one night like we did. watch it late until 4 AM. put yourself through some real agony because it's about murder and affairs and missing children, racism and bad friends. will leave you thankful and wiped.

but Jericho has been the real treat. a season and a half in about a week and a half, after the first few episodes we were riveted but unimpressed. but we finished it tonight and we're all totally in love with it whether you'll admit it or not, and we all love ronnie or ryan or whoever he is (this we'll admit).

why do we love this stupid show? it resembles LOST, the way it starts small and gets bigger and you learn more and more and it's never enough. the loose strings get all out of control and the sound bite at the end of each episode is almost as terrifying. less like, mental though. it doesn't get in your head the same way and i don't think i'm dreaming about it as much (although, you will dream about anything when you watch it hours straight like we do).

it has these elements that you're dying for without knowing it. i'll list a few.

1. AMERICA - a country constantly at war. the price of peace is like, boredom or something. times of war and disaster make people better. if it were not for the nuclear (nucular?) upset, Jake would have remained a no good son and Emily would have married Roger. And Eric would have never become a real man. Stanley and Mimi would never have realized they were in LOVE, ronnie would have never made friends etc. there is this real feeling of "having no electricity is bad, but thank God all this happened because now our lives have meaning." people want war. they love it! and that's why everyone wants America, the country that just keeps waging and waging, one after the other wars against terror and drugs, gay people and Iraq. i thought the world loved (or hated - but hated because they really loved) America because they sub consciously like liberty and diversity and the idea of opportunity and like me, love the image of American soldiers giving hersey bars to war torn kids after WWll (this image makes me sad now). but the world, in their collective love/hate for the USA must know that America has not attained any of these things but is constantly striving for them. they will have those things in abundance when peace time comes.
but peace is never going to come for the USA because they have intertwined their existence with war, war which allows you a perpetual state of "we must have liberty we must have diversity we must become better in the face of this enemy."
because war means hope.
peace means disillusionment and reckoning. that is why we love America, why we want to be America. because they never have to deal with peace. they never have to deal with anything.

2. perfect gender roles. the scene that best exemplifies this: bonnie, the deaf girl, is meticulously setting the table. mimi bursts through the door because mercenaries are on her ass. bonnie puts down the dishes and picks up a gun, blows off some faces before she dies (because she's deaf) but saves mimi's life. so the women still set the table and overbearingly ask their husbands to stay home and blurt out their secrets. but they can really shoot! the men cry when their fathers, wives and babies die. but they still kick fucking ass. it is a perfect society, a mix of protection and psychological comfort. this is what happens in war time?

3. God. i don't think the Jericho allusion is complete or at all thought out. nonetheless, this small town is rudely awakened from their relative apathy when disaster strikes. they slowly realize how massive everything is and as conspiracies/truths surface, the outside world begins to matter because Jericho comes to understand the way they are affected by the big picture. in addition, some key players get to affect the big picture (they get to save the world, man!). And people are dying to understand that they are part of a bigger system, that their actions matter. We want to be important, even if that means we get bombed (this mentality is, obviously, horrifically pervasive in the USA). We want to believe that something or someone is thinking about us. Jericho never did anything that mattered to anyone outside the sweet little town, but they still get to be involved in "the greatest crime in the history of the world."

now, should i attempt to interpret the biblical shout-out i can only conclude that ronnie hawkins is meant to represent Israel, because he is the only spy in the town.
and small town America must be annihilated to make way for the chosen people - in this case either the CIA or black people

honour

2008-09-17T18:42:00Z

July 23, 2007 was the date of my last entry. and woa, a lot has happened since then!

for starters, i've become a runner. i've always run, but now i'm like, a runner. i know i'm a runner because i bought a "runner's world" magazine (in a flurry of motivation). and there is a sub culture of runners and i love sub cultures. they are strange and exclusive, but not really exclusive because you can buy membership for the price of a magazine.
the October issue has taught me several things about running. for example, i've learned that it's a huge insult to call someone a "jogger".
who knew? remember in "the horse whisperer" when the mum tells Robert Redford she's NOT going for a jog she RUNS!! with sexy indignation? that's because calling a "run" a "jog" is belittling or something. there are even adds for running shoes in which the shoe company takes jabs at joggers (assuming their audience all runs i suppose or at least likes to tell themselves that).

in any case, i was on a run the other day (i realized i run across my federal riding and that felt good, like i was connected and part of the political process - the way a candidate should be). and i am sick to death of US war resisters. there are makeshift posters about US war resisters all over my federal riding.

we recently deported one of these guys back to America and he got fifteen months in prison. now, deportations and prison sentences are generally undesirable. but in fifteen months that guy can get out of prison and make better decisions, like not joining the US military. why are differences to Vietnam either not noted at all, or NOTED but considered too obvious or some kind of cop out? everyone keeps going on about how these kids were probably coerced, poor and uneducated. how fucking patronizing!

anyone with enough sense to book it to Canada when war is waged has some notion of fairness or justice or international law and that doesn't materialize out of thin air. where was that sense when they joined up? they must have had some understanding of America's tendency to screw around, however poor. actions have consequences - even for the uneducated. they're not being shipped to Cuba, they're being discharged, in my opinion a more *honourable* sentence then "you're poor and stupid so we'll just let you stay here"

if one can grasp it?!

2007-07-23T17:56:13Z

neon bible is so old! months ago! i'm so glad devries lent it to alyssa and she left it here. i truly doubted it, i'm not sure why because they've always pleased me in the past. but it's so graspable and the name! crass religion and the south and america, lamerica in my blood. in his blood. in everyone's blood! america america america means more than any other country. why why why why.

i like this graspable and attainable creativity.

i ran a few times with my ipod. how entiiiiiiirely lame. fake fake fake energy and my heart going wild. with music and exercise. running with david bowie is stupid but i did it yesterday and i guess i was running to the beat. the hippie woman who sells me fair trade organic coffee beans that she roasts herself was sitting outside her store in the SUN, the mid-afternoon hot sun and i run past her. she pumps her fist in the air! hahaha to the BEAT. to the beat of david bowie and it was wild. she mouths "yeah!yeah!" like lyrics. i wasn't LISTENING to the music. the music was just happening.
the moment was EPIC, ungraspable like david bowie.

thank you lamerica and those french canadians and neon bible. i like this attainable creativity because david bowie just paralyses me!

"I call him Vladimir"

2007-06-05T22:51:43Z

man, the cbc sure does have a lot of awkward pictures of George W.
I'd love to get my hands on their file photos! i'd like to thank them for such great coverage. because sometimes making fun of Bush can get tiresome and lame and old. but i really like the pic they have chosen to accompany their story about how Washington is irritating Moscow in new ways.

real or imagined, visuals of Bush irritating Putin are too good to be true.

more importantly, the US is building some sort of new war machine in the Czech republic and made a speech about it where Bush "cited Russia's 'derailed' democratic reforms." hahaha. and he goes on to say:

"The people of the Czech Republic don't have to choose between being a friend of the United States or a friend with Russia. You can be both. We don't believe in a zero-sum world. The Cold War is over."

hahaha. they can be both?? is he out of his mind!?

Putin's derailing democratic reforms! and he DOESN'T LIKE YOU and scowls in your direction every time you make a global noise (which is too effin often). and if i've learned ONE meager thing since my humble beginnings in BRAMALEA ON, it's that "they" are either FOR you or AGAINST you. PERIOD.
this wave of tolerance is beyond me.

slippery fingers

2007-04-27T20:01:17Z

Following in Baird's baffling footsteps, Bev leaves a piece o' paper lying around the commons revealing sponsorship scandal part two.
wtf? these guys should NOT be allowed out of the country.
lack of integrity? sure. but i'm presently more concerned with the inability of the conservatives to keep info in the right hands, or the intended hands at least....
what if Canada was planning on doing something really important?!?
busted.

also, "What Would Jesus Buy" was awesome. It was colourful and confusing and funny, with all those religious/materialistic collages. I'm not sure why it was innitially rejected from the festival. beats the pants off "let's all hate Toronto" but we're vain and narcissistic it would seem.
i think i like films with collages, something "Toronto" sadly lacked.
because "girls rock" had a lot of collages, with a killer back beat. and i LOVED it.
and mention of the patriot act made it into 80% of the films i've seen this week, even the animal rights movie.
looks like terrorism is infiltrating EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE.
except Canada. i saw Egoyan AND Ondaatje last night. they were together on stage, engaging one another and it was lovely and romantic and terrorist free.

mindless child, you have lost the thing that's good!

2007-04-26T19:31:09Z

with a better understanding of politics i could do more than blindly speculate, granted. but i'm not sure i'm buying this speech "leak." the benefits of "accidently" FAXING am important document to the OPPOSITION are...well i'm not sure about those but c'mon! HAHA! what kind of government?!?
i suggest no more important documentation is placed in the hands of that man. it doesn't...SIT well with me. it's a good thing we're not at WAR or something, engaged in some form of combat. OH... wait.
well it's a good thing the global community doens't take us seriously because the faxing mishap, the psychic stylist blah blah blah lead me to believe that our government is involved in some sort of fun game. and i'm really glad the environment minister is a screw up (or effin sneaky) when the environment is on the mind of everyone in the western world (the rest of the world have this gigantic AIDS/poverty thing to worry about). perhaps that will entice people to give 'em the boot, usher in Mr. Environment himself!
i'm through with left wing idealism. i've found a comfortable place right smack in the left-of-centre. the film i saw last night on animal rights activism drove one last nail in the coffin, because those kids looked so foolish and i felt a thirst for someting sensible! siding with the corporate representation in the film (and Drew Carrey who was the only B-list (c-list?) celebrity in the movie to give the finger to Peta).
and the real idealism in voting NDP is the hope that Layton and his children will take a chill pill, have a real conversation about our country without lashing out, irrelevantly.
and the Elizabeth May abortion debaucle was a real disappointment because:
a. Layton is really really frustrating and i'd like to retract every vote i've thrown him
b. May is reasonable and i'm starting to like her a lot, and what she said about abortion was alright.

but i've forgiven the Liberals for not making Ignatieff KING!
and i'm beginning to appreciate Dion's small, boring grimace.
and i'm getting old it would seem.

(iloveyouignatieff!)

"emily, i fear you are being reticent"

2007-04-12T18:30:54Z

over the weekend i got the info on NHL hockey. and as much as i like to see this city in hysterics, i couldn't be more pleased that Toronto is outta the running. i sort of support team sports in a theoretical way, but as soon as they start ending up on the front page i get bored with life.
the same might be said about the environment but that's a losing battle in every respect.
so i'd like to thank Belinda Stronach for providing three good years of front page entertainment. i'm really REALLY going to miss her and her exploits. thankfully, even her exit is rubbing some people the wrong way and being deemed opportunism. i pray that she might turn her farewell and its periphery into a feminst issue, because nothing gets people quite so defensive and/or riled up as this. i'd really like to see my favorite bloggers plunging into these depths, and this might be their only chance for a long time, now that the most newsworthy female politician is outte here. i think elizabeth may is potentially loud enough to freak people out, but the green party is almost effeminate so she might not be threatening enough.
i will not, however, underestimate Peter Mackay's ability to say the wrong thing, so thankfully she's her eye on that riding.

precision

2007-03-28T19:27:37Z

i have been feeling badly about that last entry all week. not because it isn't true, but because it's old news and tiresome.
with myspace on the outs i have nowhere to post fragmented and prepared projections of myself. as far as creative outlets go, i think i prefer that variety, because i don't really have to "create" anything. i can just select a couple of colours, a really cool song, and a pre-existing timely lyric for that space by your picture with the quotation marks around it - a tagline. you get to choose a tagline for yourself.
facebook doesn't come with colours or songs so i'm feeling a lot of pressure to have and maintain a schtick.
and i guess the Sunday star has been having the same problem, because global warming has been on the front page for what, like five weeks now?
environmentalism. it lacks emotional appeal, or has at least in the past or at least it has for me. i've skipped right over the front page the past few weeks.
but it's a really great schtick.
environment stories tend to be accompanied by pictures of trees or smoggy urban landscapes. throw some pictures of babies in there and perhaps we'd recycle more. and the only time i felt anything today was when my older co-worker (who once went on tour with lynyrd skynyrd-involved in ticket sales i think) said "this country is so fucking blessed" and i was drinking espresso and ready to jump out of my skin. if all else fails, i still get to be from Canada.
and the underwhelming budget still brought a tear to my eye because it was preceded with a really great speech. and all i want is for someone to bring a tear to my eye, induce a rant or a rave, swear.
i was watching the patriot on TV last night. it's so terrible.
but it's so GOOD and PATRIOTIC and DRAMATIC! and Gibson is out of control! all brutal and complicated. like you're not really sure what they're trying to say about war and country, when in fact they're saying nothing at all. just giving you Gibson and Ledger, battle scenes and confusing bouts of exhilaration.
exhilaration.
and it's such a shame that Gibson stole my real schtick and made an anti semitic film about it and became an alcoholic and went on a rampage.
he's left me with nothing but Canada. but if i'm going to focus on Canada, it would really help me if Canada focused on the environment. then i'd be effin set.

fair weather friends

2007-03-21T23:33:46Z

ever since famous people started to bore me (a little bit... i mean the thrill just isn't there anymore. i hope it's just a phase) and the liberal leadership race ended i haven't wanted to write anything. in fact, i haven't wanted to DO anything. so the warmer weather arrived just in time because at least i can walk around. and walk around i have. alyssa and i on a late night walk around the rich area of town. we headed north where the air is fresher. i guess you get what you pay for because the air is so fresh like trees like greenery (MMM YEAH GREEN LIKE CASH) just a few blocks north of here. once you pass those railroad tracks.
so until Ignatieff takes more centre stage, i'm holding my tongue. and i'm sick of celebrities and their loud-mouthed kids (for now). i'm throwing up my hands (New Orleans? give me a break) and turning my attention to those rich people that live their lives quietly. and don't get involved with famous people unless they are one, and don't get involved in politics unless they are donating to a political party that will cut their taxes, near casaloma with security system signs all around the perimeter, and bright lights to fend off the undesirables.
rich people are, and continue to be, the only group that never disappoints. even the everyman is starting to annoy. given my recent academic rejection, i've been thinking about "it's a wonderful life" a lot because it's the default reflection in times of disappointment. George Bailey, frank capra's quintessential everyman (accept he wasn't because James Stewart was ESPECIALLY strapping) usually elicited warmth and comfort, gracefully (inside and out!) accepting life as it came. but last night i realized Bailey was a winey douche. what more could he possibly want? to travel! HA. he lived in the best country in the world! and he had such a pretty wife who was nice to him even when he was mean, and that sweet little child with the blond curls that played the piano for him. and he had an entirely predictable rich guy right down the street that was threatening him at every turn! HOLY STORYBOOK EXISTENCE!
so regular people are out, their only redeeming quality being that James Stewart portrayed them once upon a time. i know that i've almost done the rich people theme to death, but i'm keeping at it as long as they're predictable and right down the street.
within walking distance as long as the weather is warm.

Feschuk!

2007-03-15T05:16:41Z

B-B-Blogosphere,
to new beginnings. to forced new beginnings.
lukewarm and spit from the mouth of academia i hurl myself into your deep and wonderful abyss. out of necessity and the fickle nature of online communities.

from my humble beginnings in brampton ON, to participation, in pure...HISTORY! such a desperate human attempt to get together and stay together, all the time. an attempt at coherence. an attempt at narrative, completion. right in the middle of things.
my little cousins are, well, little. younger than me. but their lives are so very complete. packaged up nicely somewhere on your infinite, wild and 3D surface. because they know all the lingo and the techie tricks!
so i'll read up and research and RIP, in theory, before i'm dead. and all will be comfortable and kind and entertaining.

i have to be honest. i'm only doing this to impress a friend. i mean a blog. i mean,

scholastic achievement doesn't signify anything on your infinite, wild and 3D surface. and if God has the good grace to grant someone a living
for writing about S. Harper's expanding mid-section and Jeff Goldblum on the same page, then i don't need a MA to be happy.
and maybe, just maybe, i'll get to write speeches for the PM someday too.

i promise things will get better. but beginnings are awkward and forced.
from my humble beginnings in brampton ON, i have really enjoyed witnessing your dawning.
what a glorious age we live in.